Artifact Four: Siblings Raising Siblings

In The Distance Between Us, Reyna’s father left her for the United States when she was two years old and her mother left her when she was four years old. Once both her parents left her she lived with her Abuelita Evilita, her fathers mother, for a few years along with her aunt and cousin. Later on she lived with her Abuelita Chinta, her mothers mother. She was raised by her grandmothers, aunt and older siblings until she was ten years old.

Today in America there are about 2 million children currently living in kinship care, care for by relatives other than their mother and father. The number has been rising over the past twenty years and there are approximately 140,000 cases of siblings raising siblings. This is all according to a recent study by the Urban Institute titled “Children Cared for by Relatives: Who Are They and How Are They Faring?”

Reyna was also raised by her sister Mago. She looked up to Mago like she was her own mother. She looked to her for protection, comfort when she missed her parents, or anything else she may need. When their mother left them, she told Mago to be Reyna and Carlos’s little mother, which she became. When her mother returned Reyna was hesitant to hug her mother, she waited to see what Mago would do. The next time their mother came back, Betty was hesitant too, she acted as if Mago was her mother not her older sister. In an article by Time Magazine, there were many stories have siblings raising siblings. There were two sisters, Janice and Lisa, who were raised by each other not by a mother and father, the same situation with Reyna, Betty and Mago. Although Lisa and Janice are both now adults they have more of a mother/daughter relationship than a sister/sister relationship. Lisa said, “Because we’re so far apart in age, we don’t have the kind of sister relationship most people have. She’ll probably always be a caretaker figure.”

In the article, it also talked about how much the older siblings have to sacrifice to take care of their younger siblings. It could be from not going to college so they could have a job and receive an income; having to give up their dream job, internship, boyfriend/girlfriend; and so much more all in order to care for a sibling, which was never their job to begin with.

It’s already very difficult to raise your own sibling but it’d be a thousand times more difficult to do this in a whole new country. That’s the situation Mago was in with Carlos and Reyna. Although they had their father, he wasn’t much of a fatherly figure. Reyna and Carlos still looked to Mago has their mother and role model. It was hard enough for Reyna to try and learn the new customs of The United States and I can only imagine it was even harder for Mago because she had to learn these things her self and help Carlos and Reyna adapt too. 

The 63,000 minors crossing the border don't have parents with them but they aren't alone. They have their brothers, sisters and friends to rely on. Those kids look to each other to help and support them while they hope and dream about finding their parents in the United States. It's the sibling bond that allows them to keep believing in themselves so one day they'll become legal citizens of the United States. 

I’m not even able to imagine the difficulty of having to raise my younger brother. Whenever I have to watch him for just one night and it’s time from him to go to bed he’d constantly say, “You’re not the boss of me! Don’t tell me what to do! I’m gonna call mom and ask her!” But he doesn’t say it nicely, he screams it at the top of his lungs, which makes me frustrated and I almost immediately give up on trying to get him to go to bed. So anyone that has successfully raised their own sibling, I have so much respect for them.